Christmas has been ranked sixth
on the scale of the most stressful life events. However, it needn’t be this
way. Beverley Hamilton , Life Coach, believes we can choose how to respond to
this by changing our perception and expectations. Read on to find out more-
Many years ago, I remember a
friend showing me photos of her Christmas table and telling me that she and her
sister in law competed to outdo each other every year. They would go to
Christmas fairs and department stores as soon as the festive goods arrived and
spend a fortune on all manner of fripperies to adorn the table. Then there was
the food, several rich courses followed by a choice of desserts which one year
included a Rum & Raisin Ice Cream Bombe!I dare say they have moved on to competing for the best outdoor lights
and displays now. I vowed to opt out of the competing and felt comfortable with
our family traditions; lunch at 1.00 pm, bit of a push but the in-laws liked
that, a jolly good game of Pontoon or Newmarket to finish the evening with cold
cuts and pickles for supper.
Then one year I found myself falling
for the advertising hype; this wasn’t just Christmas, it had to be a marketing
dream wonderland of a Christmas. It all started with an email, a school friend
telling me about their plans. They were planning the sort of Christmas you read
about in glossy magazines or see on TV adverts sprinkled with a liberal helping
of fairy dust. Prosecco and panettone, lunch at 3.30 p.m; it all seemed far
more sophisticated than what I had planned.So I made lists and I followed Delia to the word, all was in hand for
the Hamilton Extravaganza.....
Then on Christmas morning,
something occurred that I could not have planned for. Phoebe our Golden
Retriever came into season!!!Alarm and
despondency spread through the Hamilton
household. My husband said that she would have to be kept away from the
visitors as she couldn’t possibly run around the house like that all day.My son, bless him, saved the day sensing that
the air was blue when he arrived, took charge and said “She’s one of the
family, there’s no way she’s being excluded”. What happened next had us all in
stitches; he came downstairs with a pair of my husband’s underpants and put
those on her!!! It certainly lightened the day and we have the photos to prove
it!
The lesson for me was in
recognising what Christmas was truly about; the joy of family gatherings, the
simple pleasures.I had been trying too
hard and the Universe brought me back down to earth with a bump!
With that in mind, here are my
thoughts for creating a stress free festive season:
Planning before the event
This will make things run
smoother and will prevent you feeling overwhelmed in the run up to Christmas.
·Keep a book where you
record everything such as menu plans, present ideas etc.
·Make lists for ease
of shopping or order online to beat the queues.
·Keep a list from year
to year of Christmas Cards to be sent/delivered, a list of presents given is
also useful to prevent repeats, that way Auntie Jane won’t get lavender bags
every year!
·Write your Christmas
cards early as this saves on postage. Note last posting dates and the ones to
be posted abroad.
·Maintain a mailing
list on your computer and run off labels to save time addressing envelopes.
·Chunk away at tasks,
set aside time to make and bake, write Christmas cards in batches.
·Get in the mood;
cards can be written and presents wrapped whilst listening to your favourite
music.
·Squirrel away gifts
during the year and look out for bargains in the sales.
·Draft a Christmas Day
timetable, however make it a flexible feast to allow for the unexpected. The
turkey may take less/more time to cook and visitors may not arrive on time.
Delegate (or cheat)
Be a realist not a perfectionist.I
remember one Christmas Eve - having got two small children off to bed - facing
the task of making three dozen mince pies. My husband came home somewhat the
merrier from his office festivities and I must have greeted him with all the
charm of Nora Batty!!! I look back now and realise I could have put my feet up,
had a bath and relaxed instead of playing the righteous martyr.
So, keep it simple. Stir up
Sunday may be the traditional time to make Christmas Cakes and Puddings and
traditions like this are great. However, if you don’t have the time there are many
good alternatives available in the shops, together with all manner of ready-prepared
goods.
If you like having help with the
preparations, delegate jobs accordingly. You don’t have to do it all yourself.
Family and friends can help with laying the table, preparing vegetables
etc.
On the other hand if you prefer
to do it alone, say so. You can suggest that people bring a course e.g. a starter
or pudding. Plans for entertaining could include a buffet meal where everyone
brings a platter.
Present Giving
·Buy gifts out of
pleasure, not obligation.
·Stick to a budget,
setting a maximum price to spend on each person. Some large families elect to
buy presents for the children and then have a Secret Santa for the adults where
they set a limit to the cost of presents. Alternatively, everyone contributes
towards the cost of one good present for each family member.
·Making your own gifts
can save you money and people really appreciate something that is made and
given with love. Chocolate truffles, fudge, ginger biscuits and brownies can
all be easily made at home and packaged in pretty cellophane gift bags which
are available online or from Lakeland and Hobbycraft.
·Pickles and lemon
curd also make welcome gifts or you can also infuse good quality cooking oils
with chilli or herbs. Presents like these are useful to keep to hand if you
need an unexpected gift and make lovely gifts when visiting family and friends.
·Frame a photograph;
these make very personal and memorable gifts.
·If money is tight,
why not give a little of your time. A voucher promising to cook a meal, garden
or baby sit etc. is a thoughtful gift.
Family Dynamics
People often tell me that no
matter how long they have lived away from home, they feel and act differently
when they go back to their family home and past family dynamics /sibling
pecking orders can re-emerge. Try to remember that no family is perfect; accept
and enjoy them as they are.
Try varying the activities.
Getting out for a walk after lunch can help to release any built up tension. It
will promote the release of feel good hormones, aid digestion and help combat
cabin fever!Activities and games will
keep the festive spirit going and prevent arguments over which TV channel to
watch!
Take time out in between the
entertaining and visiting to recharge your own batteries. Have a relaxing bath,
listen to a meditation tape or watch your favourite DVD.Also ensure that you get enough sleep to
restore your equilibrium.
Above all, define what the
festive season really means to you and include things that make you happy. Make
it a time that balances doing and being, giving and receiving. Let go of trying
to make it perfect and settle for a memorable, fun-filled time and bear in mind
that sometimes the things that don’t go to plan turn out to be the things we
enjoy and remember the most!
About the author
As a Holistic Life Coach, Beverley Hamilton works
with clients to enable them to make effective life choices and changes and
create greater health and wellbeing in their lives. She co-runs an NLP Practice
Group in Tunbridge Wells
Beverley Article
